Sometimes, the fear really grips me, it just takes hold of me and won’t let go. You see we have a connection, our souls are connected. It is like we are the same person. There is this energy-field that surrounds us. It is impenetrable, no one can get though. At first Rocky comes on all nice and normal and then just he just becomes all psychotic and creepy. Rocky is always pointing out secluded areas where you could do al unimaginable acts to unsuspecting victims. He is obsessed with the phrase “unidentified remains.” He says it over and over like it is his mantra or something. It is like he is using his will to make something happen.

The temptation to retreat into delusion, hysteria and disassociation, retreating into the buzz of your mind overwhelms you as you find yourself at this strange point in your life.  You find yourself in a “headlines situation,” one of those things that you tell yourself that can’t really happen here or to you. But, in reality, it is happening to you. You can try and push yourself past this thing, but it doesn’t work, you are still trapped in this moment of horror. You feel alone and unconnected to the rest of the world. Everyone becomes a stranger in this situation; there is no camaraderie or friendships. You stand by yourself truly as a lone individual, naked and revealed to the whole world. This loneliness grows inside of you into some uncontrollable monster that feeds upon your vulnerabilities.http://simulacrasimulacrum.blogspot.com/2013/12/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none.html

Apostacy

The term is occasionally also used metaphorically to refer to renunciation of a non-religious belief or cause, such as a political party, brain trust, or a sports team.

Apostasy is generally not a self-definition: very few former believers call themselves apostates because of the pejorative implications of the term.

Many religious groups and some states punish apostates. Apostates may be shunned by the members of their former religious group^[1] or subjected to formal or informal punishment. This may be the official policy of the religious group or may be the action of its members. Certain churches may in certain circumstances excommunicate the apostate, while some religious scriptures demand the death penalty for apostates.

lost between the silent moments

hand strike
fist enlarging
wakeful words
firecrackers
jumping up
smiling
you ran out the bar
shouting the girl with curious hair

employed witches
asleep in the room
dirty clothes on the floor
last night's meal
the moon was not hungry
Calgary on the phone

small white polka dots
forensic
manners on the nightstand
short clear bursts
eliptical
she would chase her tail
if i would let her

white wine
menthol cigarettes
perforated pistons
it was always something
about her experience
interpreted and perplexed

the things we do when we try to do right

she came along for the ride
white cross in hand
santana on the stereo
I had a feeling
that we were living on dry land
I pointed my gun
and said a prayer for the little ones
untying their hands
removing the scars
washing away the tears
the reasons will dwell longer
denial was inside us
we couldn't see
the smokestacks
I found a piece of papaer
blowing in the wind
and wrote this down
so you would remember me

something something

boom
bumping up close
he leans out the window
with a pair of binoculars
pushing the luck
radical move
we go to the movies
sit in the back row
crooked palm
we looked for you
and you were gone
disappeared
vanished
you slipped out the back
with your mink and revolver
it was the life of the stage
a scene from a play
you sang for us
with a bottle of Scotch
feeling your ethnic bones
not afraid to be you
we tried each other
I walked around in your soul
you vented like a harpsichord
rascals
you chased Lew out the door
you said he was a creaton
he said he was an optimist
we laughed when you called him an optomitrist
he looked deep into your eyes
I know he didn't see love
I'm just trying to remember
better times
when he venom was free
warbles
he made us bread
and freshly ground coffee
this may all seem germain
the fireplace mantel
where he keeps the trophy
1st place boys choir
stick leg boxer shorts
liberty season
keeps coins in a jar
candy in an ashtray

sasha on her pedistal

mastering ritual
spoiled and torn
rising the edge
modeled crisis
six-pack algorythm
tangerine
the burned the Holy house
no more free rides
the dilemma that we face
we all must
misanthrope
gaudy edge
the spoils of war
marble claws
pecking order
dew drops
sanguine
Icurus breast
walking evident
maybe


May 2013

obey the rules
no much ti say
disappointing world
disappointing human race
just shoot me
murdered life
turn me into a zombie
and it goes on
the way people are
it will be you
the stench of human stupidity
it must be such a hell

mocks my loss of liberty

push back
no blessing,
no .... harm,
tell Mick to gather
    we      ride the bus
to see         the        dolphin
gurgle
                 and jump
through hoops of live fire
5 sisters from the invisible world
       the are    packing -----lunchmeat
into
paper bags
uncoils

april 2013