1 paz

1 Paz

Blood poured from several openings. There is always too much blood and gore. The physical becomes more and more synthetic over time. The physical expands and grows into a larger and larger being, encompassing everything. The physical becomes greater than the sum of its parts. The sights and sounds of all the accessories put the poor little fool into fits. The lights and sounds spin around and around his head. And then there are the smells and the feelings that swallow him up and overwhelm him. There also is the madness of the vagaries of life that eat away at him little by little, one bite after another come for him like a school of piranha to eat and devour his little world.

You are without support, now. You are not resistant to the hegemony of the distinctive forms of the touchstones of critique. You are cynical and irreverent as you place your hopes on grimly evolved insipient solutions that no one can swallow. Alienated from the million eyes, you have become a creative installation of deviance and bogus values. With your blank bored demeanor, you absorb the impish and sweltering totality of negative choices of self-loathing and frittering your life away.

Kicker was jealous of her happy eyes. Her eyes mocked him with every twinkle. They taunted him to reach into his bag of severity. He pulled forth from his inner being all the evil he could muster. He fought back tears as he pulled the rope from his pocket. Kicker was shaking with the fear of what was about to happen. He knew that he was a puppet being manipulated by unseen strings. He coiled the rope around her neck like a snake. The rope was an inanimate thing that wanted life. The rope wanted Sushi’s life. She lived on this earth long enough and now she had to give it up to the rope. She had to surrender her life to the snake.

I wouldn’t say he is stupid, but gullible. He has a smothered flat face with a constant blank look upon it and his eyes seem almost lifeless. He always had difficulty making sense out of the larger world. He is constantly stoned on phenobarbital, diazepam, hydrocodone, and oxycodone. He has been in and out of a blackout for a good part of three years. The result of this is that his mind is pretty frayed. He is manning the helm of a sinking ship, a fool with no hope. It took him a total of nine weeks to organize his thoughts into some sort of meaningful pattern that would allow him to go on living. He couldn’t change his mind, once he believed there was no convincing him. He would filter out all evidence to the contrary. He was a stone cold believer no matter how foolish the belief.

He thought he could escape, but he couldn’t. The trap had been set long ago, before he was ever born. We can see them coming, we always do. The trick is to pick the right one. There are so many to choose from. The weak and the spineless are in abundance on this earth.

When I said that you were backward, quaint, naïve, anachronistic, I watched your eyes grow wider and wider as if they were juxtapositions of the parts of yourself. I leaned away from you repulsed by the dismantling of the clearly repressed and unifying obsessions of your face-stuffed wishful thinking that borders on the absurdist boundaries of hell wand high-water.

It’s no fun living an ugly life and to be so lonely. I’m not that bad, just misunderstood. If only I could explain things better, then maybe they would be able to see things my way. Kicker moves down lower to feel the psychic waves that are emanating from her. Each one jolts him as it hits his body and moves on. He never once thinks if someone else could feel this. You could say he lacked empathy, especially for his victims.

It was a beautiful expression of the brutal and extreme. The fools were standing at attention, composed and smiling, unaware of the evil that will soon befall them, fresh meat waiting for their rotation on the grill. They stand there almost unconscious, swelling with the unknown. They are like boxes waiting to be opened. They want to be inspired, to be filed with something they can’t understand. They come here out of boredom and just plain curiosity. They think it must all be some big elaborate joke. A couple of them look around for the TV cameras. This must be a hoax for some comedy show. Some of them are too tired to really give a shit. Soon they will be slumped over with their mouths open and their bodies twitching. Their stare will be affixed with a perpetual look of puzzlement. Death approaches like the magic of darkness, quick, simple, and effective. His is plugged in to the darkness, a complex nest of wires sprout from his body. The electric hum inside his head is the only thing that is keeping his fragile persona together. Suddenly whirling and stabbing at anything and everything within his line of sight.

Sometimes, the fear really grips me, it just takes hold of me and won’t let go. You see we have a connection, our souls are connected. It is like we are the same person. There is this energy-field that surrounds us. It is impenetrable, no one can get though. At first Rocky comes on all nice and normal and then just he just becomes all psychotic and creepy. Rocky is always pointing out secluded areas where you could do al unimaginable acts to unsuspecting victims. He is obsessed with the phrase “unidentified remains.” He says it over and over like it is his mantra or something. It is like he is using his will to make something happen.

The temptation to retreat into delusion, hysteria and disassociation, retreating into the buzz of your mind overwhelms you as you find yourself at this strange point in your life.  You find yourself in a “headlines situation,” one of those things that you tell yourself that can’t really happen here or to you. But, in reality, it is happening to you. You can try and push yourself past this thing, but it doesn’t work, you are still trapped in this moment of horror. You feel alone and unconnected to the rest of the world. Everyone becomes a stranger in this situation; there is no camaraderie or friendships. You stand by yourself truly as a lone individual, naked and revealed to the whole world. This loneliness grows inside of you into some uncontrollable monster that feeds upon your vulnerabilities.http://simulacrasimulacrum.blogspot.com/2013/12/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none.html

Apostacy

The term is occasionally also used metaphorically to refer to renunciation of a non-religious belief or cause, such as a political party, brain trust, or a sports team.

Apostasy is generally not a self-definition: very few former believers call themselves apostates because of the pejorative implications of the term.

Many religious groups and some states punish apostates. Apostates may be shunned by the members of their former religious group^[1] or subjected to formal or informal punishment. This may be the official policy of the religious group or may be the action of its members. Certain churches may in certain circumstances excommunicate the apostate, while some religious scriptures demand the death penalty for apostates.

lost between the silent moments

hand strike
fist enlarging
wakeful words
firecrackers
jumping up
smiling
you ran out the bar
shouting the girl with curious hair

employed witches
asleep in the room
dirty clothes on the floor
last night's meal
the moon was not hungry
Calgary on the phone

small white polka dots
forensic
manners on the nightstand
short clear bursts
eliptical
she would chase her tail
if i would let her

white wine
menthol cigarettes
perforated pistons
it was always something
about her experience
interpreted and perplexed

the things we do when we try to do right

she came along for the ride
white cross in hand
santana on the stereo
I had a feeling
that we were living on dry land
I pointed my gun
and said a prayer for the little ones
untying their hands
removing the scars
washing away the tears
the reasons will dwell longer
denial was inside us
we couldn't see
the smokestacks
I found a piece of papaer
blowing in the wind
and wrote this down
so you would remember me